Before I get too far into my stay-at-home mom experience I want to explain why it is a novelty to me. To be perfectly clear, I HAVE NO PROBLEM WITH STAY AT HOME MOMS. If they enjoy it, that is their prerogative. Every parent approaches childrearing in their own way and my opinions are just that, opinions. Every family has its own dynamic and what follows are just from my own life experiences.
I love my children, dearly, but I do not think I would ever want to be a SAHM. I partly believe this for the same reason I believe it's not in me to retire early. I love my job, I love molding young minds and teaching discipline and responsibility, I love fighting the good fight in my classrooms every semester: mounting a defense for liberal arts curriculum to each and every single student. But it's more than just a love of my job that makes me think that SAHMhood isn't for me.
When the kids are home with me they do not really get socialization in a true sense. I can bring them to playgroup or arrange playdates, but they do not get to experiment with who they are separate from me. I'm there, in the corner of their eye, looking over what they say and do. If they are frustrated with me it will come out in their behavior with others. Being away from me makes them respect other authority figures as well. They can get a better idea of who they are as an individual and not be just my child, an extension of me.
I believe that time apart from each other on a schedule benefits both of us in fact. I too need time to be someone other than Zman's mom. To remember who I am as an individual. Some parents go out socially, drink and party to establish that boundary. I feel no need to do those things because working is enough of an outlet for me. It makes me appreciate my time at home more. Most importantly time away while I'm at work keeps me positive, I can see the cuteness in repetitive question asking, whereas if I spend every waking moment with that behavior I tend to snap back. Going to work makes me a better mom.
Granted, half of my work is done at home, as I am only really apart from them for on ground teaching, I take my grading home and get it done after bedtime. So, in a technical sense I'm a part-time SAHM. But this summer is an experiment for me. I will be home with both kids around the clock, seven days a week; a true SAHM.
I have activities lined up for the weekdays. Toddlers thrive on structure and I don't want to undo all the good that daycare has done for Zman by making him anxious all summer long not knowing the rules and what to expect. I've planned adult contact for myself; a benefit of having young children is they don't go places without their parents. I'm hoping to keep an even keel, but for all those reasons I do enjoy being a working mom, I am worried about how the summer will go.
Our family adventures in SAHM land will be cataloged weekly, and by end of summer we all should have a clearer picture of what it means to be a SAHM.
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