Good Beginnings

You're a mom, from the minute they place that slimy, wiggling, screeching life form on your chest, you get to be called mommy. You get the 2 am feeding, the diapers full of explosive poo, the inconsolable crying jags, and the spit-up that never seems to end. But you also get the quiet moments and little arms around your neck that tell you that you are the most important person in their world.

I don't mean to knock fatherhood, they get their share too, but there is just something about being a mom that is like a dilithiam crystal in your system. The power planted in your chest by the adoration in your child's eyes fuels the longest of voyages. It makes you capable of getting up at all hours of the night, of pacing the floor or rocking until your arms go numb and still getting the housework done. In return for that power all your child asks is for you to do your best by them.

There is a lot to love about being a mom but my favorite has to be the bonding time I get from breastfeeding. It grantees me alone time with my new little baby. But more than that, it is a decision I can be proud of. Breastfeeding was difficult in the beginning with Zman, I stayed an extra day in the hospital, had to pump every hour to encourage my milk to come in and 4 days out of the hospital I finally gave in and saw another lactation consultant. I was stressed out beyond anything I had ever experienced, I wasn't sleeping, he was screaming all the time from hunger and I was giving him formula or expressed colostrum through a tube placed in a nipple shield to mimic nursing. The visit saved my sanity, Carol patiently instructed me over and over until my hands learned the movements. Even then, when I got home I found the tears pouring down my face as he fussed and fought while I tried to feed him.

I stuck with it though, when it was particularly difficult I reminded myself of the antibodies he was getting from my body, the quality of our bonding (which I had only experienced briefly up until that point) and how much healthier breasted babies are throughout childhood. Since he had formula from the start he was never exclusively breastfed, but I took pride in every inch and every ounce he gained, knowing it was I who was providing the building blocks of his body.
The pride is even greater this time around, SweetPea has never had a drop of anything other than what has come from me.

Life is about decisions, motherhood even more so. I hope that every woman who is able, chooses to seek the same joy I have found. It may be tough and this society only makes it more so, and to combat, I only say reach out. Don't give up easy, help is out there, when it does seem impossible persevere by keeping your mind on the good beginnings you get to provide.